Driving on I-45. Getting ready to take an exam. Watching the fourth quarter of a close game. Just thinking about these situations may make you feel the first signs of apprehension. Did you know that the words stress and anxiety are not interchangeable terms?
Gabrielle Hargrove, a licensed professional counselor at Memorial Hermann, explains how to distinguish stress from anxiety and discusses some practical strategies that may help you manage both in your daily life.
What Is Stress?
According to Hargrove, stress is one of the body’s biological, physiological or psychological responses to present circumstances or your environment. Depending on your interests and personality, you might experience stress as either unpleasant or pleasant. In other words, there’s bad stress (the kind that can overwhelm you and crater your day) and good stress (the kind that can give you a burst of energy and sharper focus). The type of stress you experience is ultimately a reflection of how much you enjoy the activity or situation itself.
Hargrove points to driving as a perfect example of a stressor that causes good or bad responses. “Some people enjoy being an Uber driver—they like driving a car and looking at the scenery, meeting new people. Sure, it can be stressful driving in traffic, but for them, it’s good stress because they enjoy what they do.”
On the other hand, being an Uber driver might be a bad fit if you get headaches or start to feel your heart racing whenever you merge onto the beltway.
Physical symptoms of stress include:
- Headaches
- Increased heart rate
- Increased blood pressure
- Increased cortisol levels (your “fight or flight” response)
- Changes in appetite
You may be familiar with the physical signs of stress, but stress can also affect you psychologically. If you’re feeling foggy brained at work or have to bite your tongue around co-workers more than usual, there’s a good chance you’re experiencing a heightened level of stress.
When you start to notice these types of physical or psychological changes, ask yourself an important question: Am I responding more to what is happening in this moment or to what I think could happen in the future? This crucial distinction can help you determine whether you’re struggling with stress (present focused), anxiety (future focused) or both.
What Is Anxiety?
Anxiety is best understood as a future worry or, as Hargrove defines it, “a future-oriented emotion with worry, tension or unease.” Because the future is yet to be determined, we often try to gain a sense of control by thinking through the various potential outcomes of a situation. While this can be beneficial to decision-making, it can also become problematic when you start to worry too much about those outcomes and the potential catastrophes that could result.
Stress and anxiety often feed into the other, but they’re not the same thing. While stress is a set of physical, psychological and biological responses to present circumstances, anxiety is primarily a psychological response to future circumstances. Feeling on edge because of your negative co-workers? That’s stress. Feeling worried about possibly missing your deadlines, losing your job and having to sell your home? That’s anxiety.
Like stress, anxiety can be good for you in small amounts. A little bit of test anxiety, for example, might motivate you to take better notes in class and study harder. After all, it’s usually better to be overprepared instead of underprepared. However, that same test anxiety can easily become a negative if it overwhelms you and keeps you from getting any sleep the night before the exam.
When you start to think about the negative repercussions that anxiety has on your life and the lives of those around you, you’ll begin to understand just how important it is to learn ways to manage how you respond to it.
Practical Coping Strategies
Fortunately, there are several simple strategies you can adopt to help you cope with stress and anxiety more effectively. And, just as stress and anxiety often feed each other, there is significant overlap in the strategies you can use to manage them.
Identify what you can control and what you cannot.
You do have some degree of control over the things that cause stress. For example, if heavy traffic causes your blood pressure to spike, you can always leave home for the office 15 minutes earlier to reduce stress and avoid falling into a negative attitude before you arrive. Another example: If you know that a coworker is prone to spreading gossip throughout the building, you can avoid sharing anything with them that you don’t want to become public knowledge.
In other cases where your control is truly limited, give yourself grace and look for small ways to make the best out of a bad situation. If you find yourself stuck on the interstate because of a traffic accident, for instance, you might call the office to let your client know you’ll be late for that morning’s meeting. “Things happen, and when they do, we have to deal with them,” Hargrove says. “Have your little freak-out moment. It's okay. But if you can, as quickly as you can, pull yourself out of that moment and start focusing on what you can control.”
If you’re wrestling with anxiety, try reminding yourself that the future isn’t written. Negative outcomes and positive outcomes are both possible. Moreover, you’ll only cause problems for yourself by continuing to worry.
Ground yourself in the moment.
Deep breathing and other mindfulness practices can have a powerful effect on your ability to calm down and center yourself in the present. Even just a few minutes can make a big difference in how you go about the rest of the day. Hargrove explains that this is especially important when you’ve had to deal with unexpected challenges, such as a difficult morning commute.
“Give yourself those 10 minutes to go, ‘Okay, Woosah! I'm in the office now,’” Hargrove offers. “Get your paperwork together, get yourself organized so you can be as calm as you need to be to perform at your highest capacity.”
Rather than thinking about the challenges you have faced or could face that day, try to focus instead on the things you are grateful for. Remember, calm isn’t something that just happens to you; it’s something you create for yourself.
Take care of your body.
It's difficult to overstate how important sleep is to your physical and mental health, but it's often one of the first things to go when you're stressed or anxious. Instead, make sure that you're giving your body what it needs to stay focused and proactive rather than simple reactive. Hargrove emphasizes the importance of being active and improving your diet by reducing alcohol intake and eating healthy, balanced meals. When your body feels better, you'll find that it's much easier to cope with stress and anxiety.
Knowing When to Seek Professional Help
It’s important to remember that you don’t have to learn how to manage your stress and anxiety alone. Lean on friends and loved ones when you need to and remember that there’s nothing wrong with acknowledging that you might need to talk to an expert. Asking for help is not a sign of failure.
Pay attention to these important bodily signs to help you determine whether it’s time to talk to a professional:
- Changes to your sleeping habits
- Significant weight gain or weight loss
- Persistent stress and/or anxiety
- Difficulty regulating your emotions
If you feel like you might benefit from additional help in learning how to manage the stress and anxiety in your life, reach out to a licensed professional. And, if at any time you find yourself experiencing dark or suicidal thoughts, call 988 immediately.
You, along with most people, will experience stress and anxiety throughout their lives, but that doesn’t mean you have to let them control you. Learning to manage these responses through self-care strategies and professional support can help you create a lifetime of better experiences for yourself, your loved ones and your coworkers.
